four am
by unhappily
Summary: *sequel to "not anymore, my dear"* annabeth sends percy a letter...


To Percy Jackson,

Four AM: I miss you

Four AM: I miss you

Four AM: I miss you

It's been two weeks since I received your letter. And in those two weeks, I have been trying to find the words that fit comfortably in my mouth to write to you. It wasn't easy after spending all that time wondering about you, wishing you'd come back, and missing you.

I don't know what to do, Percy. Ever since you left, things have gotten harder. Nico and Zoe hate me. My father won't even talk to me. And Luke is too busy clinging to my waist to notice my grief. So I've done the only thing I thought would be logical at the moment. I've locked myself in my room. I don't want anymore distractions. I want to focus entirely on this letter. I don't know how long I'll stay like this, but that doesn't matter to me.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I've started to even dream about you. And sometimes I can't find you in the closed darkness behind my eyes. So I just whisper your name in the dark hoping that maybe one day I'll be able to say your name without feeling this guilt. There are days when I won't even say your name. And yet somehow, the skies are still blue and the sun still rises. I don't think they should.

And there are days when you are everywhere. You're in the flowers that I grip so tightly, you're in the rain that taps against my window, you're in the fragrance of my bedsheets, you're in the smile of the children that run about my neighborhood. No one sees you like I see you.

I miss you, Percy Jackson. It's nights like these that remind me of you. It's nights like these that when someone says the word "home", all I can think about is the safety of lying in your arms. It's nights like these when I miss your voice. How I miss the way you said my name. As if it were your anchor at sea. As if it were a name you'd want to ink deep in your skin. As if it were a name you'd want to stain your mouth forever. And it was. I know it was.

And tonight, this night, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've become the person I promised myself I wouldn't be. And now you're gone. I'm sorry about what I did and what I became. I just felt like I- I don't even know the word. But you had this lovely life. You had caring friends that you often shared with me. You had a loving family to that supported your every move. You had a life, Percy Jackson. One that didn't revolve around me. And I felt so selfish at the time. And I felt like I was no more than a tick, a parasite to you. So I decided to begin building my new life. One that didn't revolve around you. I wanted to find a different sun. My sun became Luke.

But my judgement was wrong. I had crossed the border and I'm terribly sorry. Now Luke is just another distraction. I just really miss who you were and what we had. You put a charm on me, Percy. As long as that charm was still on me, I felt like anything was possible. Like I was a little kid again. Anything was possible when I was around you. And now you've removed your charm and I no longer feel the need to believe in anything. I don't feel the need to sleep. The need to eat. The need to talk. All I feel is the need to be with you. I don't hate you. I never hated you.

Now do you see? Do you see how much I love you? I know I can be stupid and rash and I know I make dumb mistakes but you can't possibly ignore the amount of love I have for you. I know that I can be exactly what you need if you just let me. I promise I'll be strong. I promise I'll be there for you. I hope not just for myself, but for us that we can be together.

And you were right, by the way. Loving someone and not getting same love back is truly the worst feeling in the world. I want you to be here. With me. I don't want to miss you anymore. I'm starting to believe in hope. I just want things to be the way they used to without all these complications. I want to kiss your mouth and call you silly names. I want to- oh my god. I just remembered. Seaweed brain. That's what I used to call you. And I was your Wise girl. I was your Wise girl. I want to be yours again. No more mistakes. No more distractions. Just you. And me.

I hope you can forgive me. There's so much I want to tell you. I want to sit down and talk to you face to face. Maybe that way it would be easier to tell you how I feel about you. And how hard it is to not be around you. And how I fucked up so badly. And how much I missed you. And maybe a kiss to share. That would be lovely.

So I've been asking the whole town about you. About where you went, because I really need you to read this letter. I need you to come back. But apparently, no one knows. I tried knocking on your parents door to ask them, but they never answered the door. Even when I can clearly see their cars parked in the driveway. I'm assuming they hate me too, just like everyone else in this stupid town. I'm going to get them to talk to me about where you are.

And if someday, somewhere, you get this letter, then that means that I was successful. I love you. Goodnight, Percy Jackson.

Four AM: I miss you

Four AM: I miss you

Four AM: I miss you

Please,

-Annabeth Chase

* * *

**Some of you wanted me to write a reply letter for "Not Anymore, My Dear" so there it is. For those of you who haven't read it, go do that right now because this is the sequel to that. And if you're wondering, I did write this at four am. Anyway, for those of you who are following my other story, "The Like Club", chapter three will be out either today(Saturday), tomorrow or Monday. If not those three days then probably sometime in the coming week. But I'm 70 percent sure about those three days. It's my birthday by the way, so please review if you liked it. If these two letters aren't enough, then I could write another one if you like. Bye- Halley**


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